“You don’t belong here. You don’t even look Italian,” – Sammi, to a group of girls before kicking them out of the house

“My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice, juiced, hot, tanned guy and live my life.” — Snooki

“I am a bartender, I do great things.” – Angelina, on why she is better than this

“My boobs are so tight. I can’t breathe.” – Snooki, wearing a hot pink and black corset

“G.T.L. baby. Gym, tan, laundry.” – The Situation, on his daily routine

“I’m not trashy. Unless I drink too much.” – Snooki

“I felt like eating ham and drinking water.” – JWOWW coming home after a wild night out

“How do you go in a Jacuzzi in a bra? And a thong. Wear a thong bikini — that’s a little bit more classier.” – Angelina, as she criticizes a guest

“Pickles is my thing.” — Snooki

“And then there are some girls that are respectful, that you actually have to treat like girls – human beings.” – Vinny

“I didn’t necessarily want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures, whatsoever.” – The Situation, on the girls he brought home

“I’ve been a nun. A Catholic nun.” – JWOWW

“It’s obvious that Sammi has a crush on me … it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.” – Mike, The Situation

“I know he’s a nice guy … he’s gotta be clean.” – Snooki, on her friend Keith

“What could she possibly have done for a grown man to punch Snickers in the face.” – Ronnie

“Snooks got hit in the face again, poor girl … somebody’s got to teach her how to fight. Or duck.” – Pauly

“The Situation wants me to jump on a grenade, but I’m not gonna jump on a grenade for The Situation” – Pauly, on being Mike’s wingman

“Excluded from surf and turf night! Excluded from ravioli night! Excluded from chicken cutlet night!” – The Situation

“We’re beatin’-up-the-beat, that’s what we say when we’re doing our fist pump.  First, we start off by bangin’ the ground, we’re bangin’ it as the beat builds ‘cause that beat’s hittin’ us so we’re fightin’ back, it’s like we beat up that beat.” – Pauly

“She doesn’t want to feel like she’s a trash bag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with the tongue.”– Pauly on JWOWW

“If you leave, I’m going to stuff your nose with tampons.” – Snooki to JWOWW

“Lose five or ten pounds and then we’ll talk.” – The Situation to Angelina

“I don’t have time for stupid bimbos.” – Sammi

“Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore.” – Ronnie

“Get some food. Feel better. Drink heavily.” JWOWW’s life advice to Snooki

“When a girl is that much of a whore, it pisses me off.” – Angelina

“One minute you got three girls in the Jacuzzi, the next minute somebody’s in jail.” – Pauly

“I ran this house. I had a ball.” – The Situation

“Girls after girls after girls. That’s an ideal summer for anybody.” – Pauly

“I really think I made that house. Honestly.” – Snooki

“I just met this girl and she already stalks my whole life.” – Pauly

“I was gonna try to uppercut her, but at that point I had too many bouncers wrapped around me. I just wish for like 3 more seconds. I would have done justice.” – JWOWW

- Compiled by Lindsey Hunter Lopez

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